Better bad golf outfit – Joakim Noah or John Daly?


Now that is some bad golfing gear in all its glory.  Really take a minute to let those clothes sink in.  These two guys have really raised the bar for atrocious golfing outfits.  Everyone can agree none of us would wear any of that on a golf course, so to settle this we are going to have to do a LND breakdown.

Shirt – Daly goes traditional collar, they are bright but that is not uncommon on the course.  Noah really pushes the limits of what a country club will allow with his Daniel Tosh style $2 v-neck. Advantage: Noah

Pants – Joakim opens himself up for ridicule in the Bulls locker room by wearing the rarely seen male capri pant.  As bad as those are, check out Daly’s pants.  They look like something dreamed up by Dr. Seuss in the middle of a peyote binge. Advantage: Daly

Shoes – Daly goes traditional here, meanwhile Noah rocks some bright red le coq sportif jogging shoes. C’mon man, you’re a millionaire. Splurge for some soft spikes. Advantage: Noah

Hat – Daly’s hats look like they belong to a gay conductor.  Joakim’s is a standard issue MLB player cap, but it appears to be just gently resting atop his hair – ready to fall at any second. Only because of the added suspense – Advantage: Noah

Formal wear – Noah still manages to terrify poor David Stern despite going with the unexpectedly preppy combination of seersucker and a bowtie. Daly goes with a dress coat so ugly it makes Tiger Woods uncomfortable.  Tiger even grimaces even though he is not in the same room as this one. Advantage: Daly

Accessories – Any good fasionista can tell you that it is all about accessorizing.  Noah somehow manages to find socks that match his capris, plus goes for the sunglasses in the t-shirt look just to pull that v-neck down a little further. Daly compliments his outfits with a sponsored golf bag worthy of any NASCAR race and a cloud of cigarette smoke. Advantage: Daly

Hair – If this were ten years ago, Daly’s mullet would take the prize, but his hair today is subdued and Joakim’s is anything but. Advantage: Noah

Off the course conductNoah buys bongs. Daly uses the popular fat guy technique “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Advantage: Daly

Swing – Daly has a great swing and has won a Major. Though there is no footage of Noah swinging, judging from that grip and putting stance I would guess it is somewhere between Charles Barkley’s and Tyreke Evans’ swings.  Plus those clubs are made for someone a foot shorter than him. Advantage: Noah


In a close race, Noah edges Daly 5-4

%d bloggers like this: