BCS Championship Picks

Perron’s Pick

The end of August is the most optimistic time of year for all college football fans.  A quick glance around the interwebs and you will find that there are about 20 fan bases out there that honestly think they have a really good shot at making it to the title game.  It doesn’t matter if you are a fan of Alabama (the 9/2 favorites in Vegas) and can make a legitimate case, or if you are one of the many delusional fans that root for West Virginia (a 75/1 longshot) and have talked yourself into this being your year after inhaling too many couch fumes, everyone thinks they have a chance right now.  Everyone except the Wahoos that is, who at least are realistic in their expectations for the upcoming season (although if Jay thinks they are winning more than 4 games in 2010 then go ahead and put an “un” in front of that “realistic”). That’s why it’s not possible to predict who will be in the title game based on the good things you hear about teams.  Trying to figure out which teams will play in the BCS Championship game is much more productive if you instead treat it the same way as you would dropping a deuce – as a process of elimination.

First of all, only TCU and Boise St. matter from the non-automatic qualifying conferences.  TCU is not talented enough to go to undefeated two years in a row.  Boise is, if only because of the inferior competition they face other than Oregon St and Virginia Tech.  Do I think they will run the table?  Let’s get to the other conferences first.

The Pac10(12)’s best team has a complete creep for a coach (which has nothing to do with anything other than me not wanting to pass up this opportunity to take a shot at Lane Kiffin) and is not allowed to go to a bowl this year, so we can drop those Cosby kids off at the pool.  The Big East is a mediocre at best football conference who’s bes- that was already too many words I wasted on the Big East. This conference sucks. It starts every year with a turtlehead, meaning it’s only a matter of time before we can deposit them all at the porcelain bank.  The SEC and Big 12(10) will all beat each other up, which works in years where no teams go undefeated, but this year it is wide open and I predict we will have some undefeated teams still standing. So sorry SEC and Big 12(10), but instead of the BCS title game, you will all have to settle for a trip to the Super Bowl with the rest of the Browns.

The Big 10(12) is top heavy, and with Penn State not even being able to name a starting QB yet, that top consists of Ohio State and Iowa.  Actually, I think that makes the Big 10(12) college’s Kim Kardashian – bottom heavy. Iowa gets a favorable schedule including the Buckeyes at home, which will propel Ricky Stanzi and crew on top the Kardashian conference like it was Ray-J.  With its only non-conference tilt of note coming at Arizona and no Big10(12) title game I see them going undefeated.

In the ACC, the preseason favorite is Virginia Tech, and their schedule just got a whole lot easier.  They are slated to play GT, @UNC, and @Miami in consecutive weeks in November for what looked like a brutal stretch.  Thanks to Butch Davis’ tutor, the middle game of that stretch should no longer be a problem and I see them running the table in the ACC.

That brings us back to Blue Man Group of Boise.  They face off against the Hokies on Labor Day in what will be a championship elimination game.  Tyrod Taylor has a ton of confidence right now completing 16 of 17 in the team’s final scrimmage and the coaches have basically said they are going all in on this season by choosing not to redshirt David Wilson.  Virginia Tech’s running game and their special black jerseys will be on a different level than 2009 TCU or that uninterested 2007 Oklahoma team.  They will ride this victory to an undefeated season.  Hey, don’t say I didn’t warn you that every team’s fan base is optimistic at this time of year.


BCS Title Game – Virginia Tech 27, Iowa 17

BCS Conference Champs – Virginia Tech, Iowa, USC, Auburn, Pittsburgh, Oklahoma


Jay’s Pick

College football will have its greatest season in memory in 2010 with no fewer than seven teams — Ohio St., Iowa, Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Virginia Tech and Florida — finishing out the season with one loss and battling for a spot in the national title game. Unfortunately, the BCS will reach an all time low as an undefeated Boise St. will commit the biggest case of grand larceny in sports history by stealing a spot in the title game from SEC champ Florida and Big 12 champ Texas.

How can this happen, you ask? How could two of the most prominent programs in all of college football be passed up by the Idaho Smurf Turfers after winning the championship games of perhaps the best two conferences in 2010? It’s all part of Boise St.’s master 3-year plan. The Broncs virtually forced the pollsters to vote them into the preseason top 5 this year after winning 25 straight regular season games and splitting high profile bowl games against their fellow BCS busting TCU Bleeding Eye Frogs the last two years. Without having to scratch and claw ahead of a dozen programs America actually cares about, the Broncs will simply hold serve by pummeling such juggernauts as Toledo and San Jose St. while Florida, Alabama, Texas and Oklahoma eliminate each other. Bob Stoops will actually eat his own visor, Mack Brown’s head will explode and Satan will reveal himself by burning through the flesh we know as Urban Meyer when they realize they are unable to sink Boise in the coaches poll because of the political shitstorm it would cause thanks to public voting. Frank Beamer will either just eat Super Double Fudge Chunk ice cream at Michael Vick’s pad for a month or go postal and chop someone’s head off at a campus eatery after realizing his Hokies could have prevented this tragedy and gotten into the title game had they just taken care of business on Sept. 6. I’m going to give 2:1 odds Beamer snaps and is arrested for running an illegal cow fighting ring out of the back of Frank Beamer’s Restaurant in Blacksburg.

But the BCS, which has seen terrible depths before, will not stop there. Enough people will cheer the victory of the little guy over The Man that it will take one more piece of broken glass in the urethra to complete the system’s total failure. That second tragedy will be one-loss Ohio St. prevailing over several superior teams to take the second spot in the national championship game. The computers will unfathomably find a way to love Ohio St. again despite every 10-year-old in Mississippi being smart enough to know that the Buckeyes are no better than the fourth best team in the SEC and the pollsters, who can remember last week’s games about as well as Charlton Heston can remember where he put all his guns, will have long forgotten Ohio St.’s October slip up at Wisconsin when undefeated Nebraska loses a rematch to one-loss Texas in the Big 12 championship game.

Terrell Pryor, who finally lives up to at least one-quarter of the hype that followed him to Columbus in 2007, will lead the Buckeyes on a late touchdown drive to beat Boise 13-12 and win the BCS title, but neither Ohio St. nor Boise will finish in the top 3 of the AP media poll as underpaid, bitter journalists everywhere try to matter by stirring up another playoff controversy.

BCS Title Game – Ohio St. 13,  Boise St. 12

BCS Conference Champs – Virginia Tech, Ohio State, USC, Florida, Pittsburgh, Texas

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