Best Movies of 2010 (period)

Since the Northeastern Blizzard O’2010 has me confined to my chambers like an upper east side teen on Wednesday afternoons, I chose to debate something noseworthy. Or should I say news worthy. Double entendre’s aside, there’s nothing we here at LND like to do more than kick our hotsteppers up and engage in a nice back and forth of make believe with our brains. I read an article this morning that questioned whether 2010 was one of the worst years of cinama releases ever. Ever? I reckon diff”rent there pardner. I call this year the transition period in cinema.  We all go through it. I’m going through it as we speak, a mere weeks since this season of Dexter ended. Do I try and watch DVR’d episodes of Boardwalk Empire? No way! I couldn’t fathom trying to follow a new storyline at this juncture. Let’s just say my Netflix Wire episodes can’t arrive fast enough. Oh well, to the awards!…………

Best movie that would have been funnier had the original guy to be casted not died, and in turn said movie then be remade 10 years later with a new guy who did a capable job…Grown Ups!

David Spade obviously stole the show with his always excellent quips. Rob Schneider’s makeout scenes made me puke after the second one and poor, poor Adam Sandler. Positive: Had his wish granted and got Salma as his fictional wife. Negative: Real life wife also cast in movie, along with daughters. That deflating sound  you hear is Sandler’s penis.

Best Movie  remake about an 80’s video game that you never played, yet felt some relation to becasue you vaguely remember seeing the original movie, but mostly remember seeing it with the sound off while Cameo played in the background…Tron: Legacy!

I must say I was overly excited about this movie simply from the trailer. You know how some 3-D films you know are gonna rock just based on a few secinds of footage, yet others you know will most certainly be complete garbage and you rue the day it was ever conceived? Well Tron was the former. The latter: Yogi Bear. And this final product truly didn’t disappoint. Sure there could have been about an hour less of talking, but the 30 minutes of action were FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Now would I go dressing as a character like some futuristic asshole from the Nerd Society? No. But the movie was pretty bad ass.

Best movie about Facebook. Catfis…are you serious?! The Social Network.

When, days after your movie premieres, allegations spring up that the film was fabricated, you are immedately stricken from the list. Anyways, I loved Sorkin’s script and Eisenberg was the same guy he is in everything, except he talked EVEN faster in this than usual. I still think Timberlake peaked in Alpha Dog, oops I meant in On The Line. Who could forget his passionate turn as Make-Up Artist. Gay! No Way!!! Someone hand this guy a fucking Oscar!

Ok, Seriously, that was just a good damn movie…..Inception.

Just when I thought ol’ Leo and Summer’s ex couldn’t top last year’s asylum stay and time shifted break-up respectively, they go and make a movie so dreamy I am not quite sure if I’m in the Matrix or about walk on walls like Turbo in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. No movie had me on the edge of my seat like this did. Sure, Ellen Page was pointless, and I was kind of creeped out by Marion Cotillard, but Tom Hardy was pretty badass and Watanabe took a bullet like only a cinematic hero could. And he didn’t die!

Those were my standouts from a transitional year in cinema. For those of you who are like, “What? That’s it? That was dumb. You never listed your favorite films idiot.” To that I say, ” Calm down Nancy, I was just getting there”.

Best Film: My Name Is Khan (See it and debate me. Please.)

Better Films: Avatar (in 3-D), The Kids Are All Right, The Town, True Grit, The Other Guys, Hot Tub Time Machine,  Expendables, Despicable Me, Kick -Ass

Worst Films: Get Him to the Greek (waaayyy overrated), Dinner For Schmucks (just terrible), Due Date (Hangover‘s annoying little bother that tries to be just like the big brother, but is just lame), Death At A Funeral (the British version is 1,000 times better. No a million times)

Eh, I guess: Alice in Wonderland, Date Night,  A-Team, Black Swan, Toy Story 3, Easy A, Nightmare on Elm Street remake, Eat Pray Love


3 Responses

  1. Inception is the best movie of the year. If you think Ellen Page was pointless watch it again. The point of the whole movie is that in actuality Michael Caine hires Ellen Page and the rest of the crew to perform an inception on Leo that Cotillard’s death was not his fault. At each level of the dream the way Ellen Page treats Leo mirrors the way the rest of them are treating Cillian Murphy. Plus Ellen Page’s character’s name (Ariadne) is the person in Greek Mythology that helps Theseus out of the Minotaur’s maze with a ball of red yarn – Ellen Page is wearing red in almost every scene. The movie requires at least another viewing.

  2. I’ll start with saying I meant her being replacable as an actress, but your breakdown just took me to a whole other dimension. Did I realize any of this about the story? No, no I didn’t. So thank you P. Another viewing will commence immediately.

  3. Don’t worry, Chris, I’ll bet you $25 Perron had to read all of that on an Inception fanboy page.

    Just to give my two cents: Kiss Ass was a shocker, surprise movie of the year. They marketed that thing totally wrong and I barely even ordered it on Netflix, then I watched it and was like, “Holy shit, did that just happen?”

    Most overrated: The Social Network. Yawn. Zuckerberg is a douche. I love that he was guilted into giving $100 million to charity when the movie was coming out because he didn’t want everyone to think he was a douche…which made him more of a douche, just a helpful douche that gets guilted out of his money. Eisenmanbergstein’s schtick works way better when he can be silly, ala Zombieland, kind of ala Adventureland.

    I need to go see True Grit. Terrible name, great directors and cast.

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