NBA Preview


OK, so I know what you are thinking.  After the debacle that we here at LND called the “MLB Playoff Preview” you are beginning to wonder if we even watch sports.  Though that is a valid question after none of us even correctly predicting one World Series team, keep in mind that nobody over at the mothership of all things sport did either. Besides, baseball is a distant third on our list of favorite sports.  If there are three things that the guys at LND know lots about it’s awesome hats, awesome signs, and the NBA.  There have been a ton of changes to the landscape of the greatest league of athletes in the world – Amar’e is a Knick, Shaq is a Celtic, and Lebron is a Heat (damn non-plural team name. We almost made it a whole paragraph without any grammatical errors).  Here is your official LND 2010-11 NBA primer with picks.

But before we get there, everyone join me in pouring out a little bit of your 40 for Allen Iverson’s career.  It looks like it is officially over after the Answer signed up to play for two years in Turkey with LND’s new favorite international team Besiktas.  As fellow 757 natives we here were endlessly entertained by AI’s (Iguodala should be forced to find his own nickname – I vote for Iguanadon. Who wouldn’t want to be named after the dino that gives the meanest two thumbs up in the history of lizards?) career and wish him well. Go Besiktas!!!

Perron’s Picks

East
1. Heat – The Lebron James hate has gone way too far. I still like Lebron and will enjoy watching this team. I think he can average a triple double. Plus Bosh will be way more effective now that he no longer has Predator’s haircut.

2. Magic – Dwight Howard worked out this summer with the greatest center of all time Hakeem Olajuwon.  He also claims that he has gotten more serious and wants to drop the Superman nickname.  If Dwight got serious and learned the Dream Shake then the rest of the NBA should be afraid.

3. Bulls – Derrick Rose is gonna blow up this year and I don’t mean blow up the way Shawn Kemp did. With Boozer setting the pick and doing the rolling look for him to put up Chris Paul-like numbers.

4. Celtics – The Rasheed Wallace infection will linger as they coast through the regular season and try to turn it on in the playoffs. It won’t work this year because Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and the O’Neal towers have three good knees combined between the four of them.

5. Hawks – This team is the Mr. Rogers of the NBA – every episode is exactly the same.  A decent regular season followed by getting bounced in the first round.  But hey, at least they locked Joe Johnson up long-term so we can look forward to 6 more years of them lingering in the 5 spot.

6. Knicks – Partly because I believe in D’Antoni, partly because Raymond Felton is a huge upgrade over Chris Duhon, partly because A’mare is a monster, but mostly because I think Carmelo will be a Knick at the trading deadline.

7. Bucks – Brandon Jennings is amazing to watch. They would be higher except Bogut still hasn’t fully recovered from having his arm bent backwards like a Ken doll.

8. Besiktas! – Because Allen Iverson and a bunch of foreign players couold win the 8 spot in the top-heavy Eastern Conference.  Really Charlotte, Iverson wouldn’t have been a good fit on your team that only has two players capable of scoring? I guess I’ll begrudgingly pick the Wiz here. Gilbert and Wall are better than other 1-2 punch of the teams left .

West

1. Lakers – Andrew Bynum sucks.  When can we all agree on this? Stop hyping him up. Just stop it. Now. You are still doing it.  They are still better than everyone else over here even though Bynum will only play 35 games.

2. Mavs – Dirk is underrated.  Chicago almost traded for him but backed out when they thought they could get Lebron and Wade. Chicago is in a good place now but if you replaced Boozer with Dirk I would pick them to win it all.

3. Thunder – KD is great and everyone knows it at this point.  Don’t sleep on his supporting cast, though – Westbrook, Harden, Green, Ibaka, Thabo, and Harden’s beard. This team is going places and those places are the NBA Finals.

4. Jazz – David Kahn is a terrible GM.  His team is comprised of 7 PGs and 6 PFs so he had to give away his best PF Al Jefferson to Utah for a bag of tube socks.  That means Utah won’t miss Boozer for one second.

5. Rockets – Yao is not 100% but they don’t need him to be because this team goes 12 deep and will be able to score with anybody behind Aaron Brooks and Kevin Martin.

6. Spurs – Out of respect for Timmy and Pops. They will find a way. Plus, Tim Duncan swims with Beluga Whales so he’s got that going for him.

7. Clippers – It just doesn’t look right, I know. Blake Griffin wins Rookie of the Year, Eric Gordon wins NBA’s Most Improved, and I can’t help but root for my bearded brethren Baron Davis.

8. Hornets – This team is terrible, but they have Chris Paul and that is good enough.

Finals – Heat over Thunder – Lebron and Durant get to face off head to head for best player on the planet.  That title and the NBA title will belong to Lebron for now.  But don’t worry KD, there will be several rematches in the future.

Dunn’s Picks

Let me preface my breakdown of picks to mention three guarantees for the upcoming NBA season. First, EVERY other team is scared to death of the Heat. Even declining Mamba and his band of second tier players. EVERYONE. Second, Andrew Bynum will come back from knee injury number 47, beast some undersized garbage five like Noah or Kristic, get instantly overrated AGAIN, and then injure himself some dumbass way in order to miss out getting gang raped by either the O’Neal’s, the Joel Anthony/U Haslem matchup, or Dwight Howard in the Finals. I can already hear the excuses about why the Lake show missed out on its second three peat. Third, America’s original Penis Man du jour, Greg Odom AKA The Big Sloppy, will once again miss an entire season, amazingly becoming the worst big man pick up in Blazers history. There’s your reprieve Sam Bowie.

East

1. Heat (b/c by June all of the “kinks” will have worked themselves out)

2. Celtics (injuries hinder them mid-season, but like last year summertime means business)

3. Bulls

4. Magic

5. Bucks (Jennings babay!)

6. Hawks

7. Bobcats

8. Pacers (sorry Knicks)

West

1. Lakers (barely)

2. Thunder

3. Mavs (but will once again bow out before the start of the playoffs)

4. Nuggets (w/ Melo)

5. Jazz

6. Spurs (last run of the Sleepy Giants)

7. Blazers

8. Rockets

Finals: Heat (after narrowly escaping Boston) over Lakers

Jay’s Picks

East

1. Heat

2. Orlando

3. Celtics

4. Chicago

5. Atlanta

6. Milwaukee

7. Charlotte

8. Cleveland – Because LeBron hate is en vogue right now

West

1. LA Lakers

2. Utah

3. Dallas

4. Oklahoma City

5. San Antonio

6. Phoenix

7. Portland

8. Denver

Finals – Lakers over Celtics

The East finally catches up to the West after a decade of post-Jordan era regular season inferiority, but the end result of ultimate regular season parity still craps out the same thing we’ve had for two of the last three years. TV and NBA execs rejoice! You have Lakers vs. Celtics for the umpteenth time in history. Enjoy it now, because Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Shaq will probably turn into dust after the Lakers take this series in 7 (again).

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